Today’s Oberon Adventures
1) Always tie your dog to something immovable. We were walking past a cafe which had a tethered dog outside. It was quite a large dog and it took a dislike to Cody TRHD so it jumped at him, barking and snapping. What it was tied to was a light cafe table (the sort that gets taken inside when the shop is closed). It was hilarious watching the dog trying to outrun the clattering and bouncing table. The dog owner seemed to think it was my fault that she hadn’t secured her hound properly while she was inside the cafe. (No cafe tables were harmed in the making of this anecdote.)
I was talking to the man on the Rotary raffle table later and he told me that he saw someone tie a dog to one of those stands that estate agents put outside for their brochures. The dog took off, scattering paper all over the place and wrecking the stand in the process.
2) I was waiting for my Chicko roll to be heated up and there was a large parking spot outside the shop. A lady pulled up in a new Land Rover Discovery (the one with the Range Roverish grille). She looked at the parking spot and then did a U-turn over double lines, cutting off traffic as she did so, so that she could park on the other side of the road. She then crossed the road to go to the cake shop. I assume the illegal U-turn inconveniencing other motorists was an attempt to gain Range Rover cred.
3) Speaking of Range Rovers, a real one turned up shortly afterwards, again looked at a usable spot and again did a U-turn over double lines to park elsewhere. Perhaps the warranty is voided if drivers don’t break the law at least once per day. Laws are for plebs anyway.
4) Cody and I were waiting to cross the road. There were two white utes (what else?) approaching. The one in front put its left blinker on and stopped preparatory to reversing into a parking spot. The second truck went around it and carried on. As we started to cross the road the first driver decided that he didn’t want to park there so he took off forward like someone in the Hilux class at a drag race meeting. He missed us, but only because we are agile for our ages.
5) When two cars are travelling in convoy it is essential to park them side-by-side so that nobody gets lost. If it so happens that the second parking spot is across the exit driveway of the pub bottleshop then that is just too bad. Drinking is bad for you. In any case, as the two cars were parked at 70 degrees someone with a small car could still squeeze out of the bottleo.
In Oberon there is 45 degree rear-to-kerb parking all along the main street. There apparently is a tolerance, as it seems the rule is actually 45±30 degrees. Here are some hints for drivers:
1) If both rear tyres are touching the kerb you are not parked at 45 degrees.
2) Do some mathematical work (don’t worry, all you need is a tape measure, a calculator, a pencil and a piece of paper.
a) Measure the distance between the outer edges of your rear tyres
b) Multiply this number by itself
c) Divide the result by 2
d) Take the square root of that number
e) Write the result on a piece of paper
f) Take the paper to your nearest hardware store and ask the man (or even the woman) there to cut you a piece of wood that length. For lightness, maybe use dowel rod.
g) You now have a handy measuring stick. If the outside edge of your right rear tyre isn’t the same distance from the kerb as the length of the stick you are not at 45 degrees.
3) Practice driving. You can get better if you try.