This revision of the Rolling Stones' classic "Sympathy for the Devil" was written in about 1997 because someone asked me to introduce myself to the members of an IT-related mailing list.

(No apologies to Mick and Keef - the bizarre rhyme, rhythm and punctuation patterns are in the original, as is the mention of Bombay. In case you think I am ripping off the original composers, you can buy a copy of Beggar's Banquet (where the song first appeared) by clicking on the album cover at the right.)

Sympathy for the Friden (Jagger, Richards, Bowditch)

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man, no wealth but taste
I've been around for long, long years, the evidence is on my waist.
I was around when Mister Jobs had his moments of doubt and pain
I made damn sure that Mister Gates bashed his Mac and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name, but what's puzzling you, is the nature of my game

I was around back in COBOL days when I saw it was time for a change
I wrote the dates that you love so much, nought to nine nine was the range.
I punched a card, crashed things hard, bashed out FORTRAN like a bard
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name, but what's puzzling you, is the nature of my game

I watched with glee while your software kings fought for decades for the code they made
I shouted out "Who killed OS/2?", when after all it was me and you
So let me please introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste
And I lay traps for programmers, who get here somehow from Bombay
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name, but what's puzzling you, is the nature of my game

Just as every boss is criminal, and all the salesmen, Saints
As heads is tails, just call me PeterB, 'cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me, have some courtesy, have some sympathy and some taste
Just buy some ACT! and WinFax Pro, or I'll lay your disk to waste
Pleased to meet you, guess you know my name, but what's puzzling you is the nature of my game