Predictions for 2011
Before giving my psychic predictions or 2011, I will review my success at predicting the events of 2010.
- There will be talk of romance in the Royal Family, with at least one engagement being hotly rumoured. Princess Anne will not remarry during 2010. — William, Kate. Tick, tick.
- On four Tuesdays during the year the Australian stock market will rise by more than 10 points. In each case a correction will follow and the index will drop. — Tick.
- The Obama administration will be accused of trying to introduce socialism into the United States by proposing legislation similar to that found in communist countries like Australia, New Zealand and the UK. — Tick ("The just-passed health care bill is nothing short of communism in the works". March 30, Letter in the Lodi News-Sentinel)
- Airline security measures will be adjusted in response to perceived terrorist threats. — Tick. ("New airline security measures announced". April 2, Reuters)
- The price of petrol will be higher on Fridays than it is on Wednesdays for most of the year, and will also show a fortnightly cycle related to Commonwealth pension pay days. Oil companies will claim that this is all coincidence. — Tick, in case you hadn't noticed.
- A celebrity Hollywood couple will announce that they are separating. The official reason will be that their work schedules mean that they are rarely together. At least one of them will be photographed with another companion at a gala event within two weeks of the announcement of the separation. The new companion will just be a good friend and will have nothing to do with the marriage breakdown. _ Tick, tick, … (eg, Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes)
- A high-profile football player will attract the attention of the police following an incident involving the consumption of alcohol. Media reports will mention the player's youth and income and will refer to him as a role model. — Tick, tick, tick, ad nauseum.
- An attempt will be made on the life of a prominent member of an outlaw motorcycle gang. Leaders of other gangs will deny responsibility and blame the attack on rogue elements that are difficult to control. — Tick ("Outlaws motorcycle gang member killed in shootout with ATF". June 15, Christian Science Monitor).
- The Reserve Bank will raise official interest rates. Media reports will convert the rate rise into the number of dollars it adds to monthly repayments on the average Sydney mortgage. — Tick.
- Elections will be called in three Australian states, and there will be speculation about a Federal election. Three-quarters of a tick.
- Three solutions to the Israel/Palestine problem will be put forward. One will require total submission by the Palestinians, one will require the extinction of Israel and one will require both sides to give up more than they are prepared (or politically able) to concede. Proponents of all three solutions will be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. — Undecidable due to the incredible incompetence of Mossad's attempted assassination of a Hamas arms buyer.
- Greenland will be covered by ice for most of 2010. This will be used as evidence against global warming. Snowfall in Greenland will maintain the glaciers and will be used as evidence for global warming. Tick (see any climate change denier web site for both).
So my score was 81.25% correct. According to newspaper reports professional psychics averaged about 7% accuracy. Am I in the wrong job or are they?
Now the predictions for 2011.
- Everybody knows there will be a state election in NSW in March. The incoming government (of whatever flavour that wins) will announce that things are much worse than they knew before the election and consequently railway projects first announced as far back as the 1930s will have to be delayed.
- The 2011 Nobel Prize for Medicine or Physiology will be awarded for an achievement which will not be a cure for all forms of cancer. The winner will not be a homeopath, chiropractor or naturopath.
- At least three people will announce that they will be running for President of the USA in 2012. One of these potential candidates will be barking mad.
- There will be a sex scandal involving a football team and a girl with a Twitter account.
- To avoid spoiling William and Kate's special day, Prince Charles and Camilla will not announce before the wedding that they are about disrupt the succession to the throne because Camilla is pregnant.
- A highly-paid Sydney radio announcer will say something terribly stupid on air and will be suspended until the outrage dies away. Then he will be reinstated.
- Petrol prices will reach peaks just before holiday weekends. This will be blamed on the price of Tapis crude, the cost of refining in Singapore, the high value of the Australian dollar, the low value of the Australian dollar, and possibly the phase of the moon (at Easter).
- The Australian cricket team will score more than 300 runs in a test match.
- Newspapers and tabloid television current affairs shows will carry stories warning of the danger of radiation from mobile phones. Physicists referring to Einstein's 1905 paper on the photoelectric effect will be ignored.
- A major musical act will announce retirement. This will be reconsidered following the success of the "Farewell Forever, I'm Not Coming Back" tour.
- There will be floods, droughts, blizzards, landslides, tsunamis or earthquakes affecting nine countries with an "A" in their names.
- Scientists and environmental groups will claim that the floods, droughts, blizzards, landslides, tsunamis or earthquakes are evidence of climate change. Climate change will be denied in response.
- A prominent sporting identity will be caught out having extramarital affairs. Evidence will be something stupid done by the identity, such as leaving lewd text messages on his phone for his wife or girlfriend to see.
There are thirteen predictions because of numerology. Add the 2 of "2011" to the 11.
This article was published on the Yahoo! 7 News Blog on January 7, 2011